As You Wish
by The Crack Fairy
Summary: “Explaining everything would take a long time… you may call me Hidan, and because you have my necklace, I have to grant you three wishes.” KakuHidan, AU
1. Prologue

"Violet, my dearest son. You are the youngest of my six children, but the time has come for you to leave my house and experience what the humans call 'life'."

"Sun, my dearest mother, fuck you, I ain't going to that stinkin' human world."

--

Once upon a time, a legend was widely spread throughout the lands; the legend talked about how the sun, kind and bright, sent its six children to the earth to fight the darkness of the human world. These children were Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue and Violet.

Red stood for strength, protecting those he loved; Orange stood for justice, passing harsh judgment; Yellow was curious, watching the human world and trying to learn their ways; Green shone with dedication, putting his heart into everything he did. The only daughter, Blue, was the kindest and known for being a gentle person.

And Violet was…

Well. You'll see.

--

"You refused to go to the human world."

Violet looked over his shoulder, raising one fine eyebrow semi-interestedly. "So what if I did?"

Orange glared and walked towards his younger brother. "Mother Sun has never asked anything of you, Violet. How can you refuse this request?"

He rolled his eyes and clamped his hands over his ears. "Laaalaaalaaa, I'm not listening!"

The orange-haired man's glare darkened. "Quit it, Violet. You're a spoiled brat, but I didn't think you'd go that far. All of us had to go to the human world at least once, and you are not going to be an exception."

"Pfft, are you kidding me?!" Violet snorted. "Yellow and Green went missing down there and Red can't find 'em; there's no way I'll go down there. What if I go missing too?"

"Then we'd be rid of a burden." Orange took a step towards his younger brother, eyes narrowed dangerously. Violet, in turn, backed away, feeling cornered. "You are going to the human world and you will not come back before you have learnt your lesson."

"I'm not going to do a fucking thing!" Violet growled quietly when his feet hit the edge of the well they used to watch the earth. This was not going to end pretty.

Orange regarded him with his usual stony demeanor. He reached out for the pedant dangling in front of his brother's chest and gave it a strong tug, breaking the necklace holding it in place, and then tossed the silver pendant into the well. "This well not only lets us see what happens on earth, but we can also access the human world through it." For a fleeting moment, a smirk stole itself onto the older man's usually emotionless face. "You are to serve the human who finds your necklace. You shall grant him three wishes and in turn, he is to show you the hardships of human life and protect you. When you have fulfilled his three wishes, I will observe if you have learnt your lesson. Should this not be the case, your necklace will be passed on to another human."

"Wait – wait, brother you can't –"

"Your name on Earth shall be 'Hidan'."

And thus, Orange pushed his flailing brother into the well.

--

It was a nice day in late September; the sun sent its last warm rays, interrupted only by a very light drizzle of rain, which looked more like liquid gold until it collected in small puddles on the ground.

Kakuzu sighed contently, glad that he was inside, and even more glad when he finished booking the last invoice. He turned off the computer, got up and stretched his muscles before grabbing a newspaper from his desk and leaving the office, locking it behind him.

He poked his head into the large kitchen of the restaurant. "Tobi, do you have any cake left?"

Tobi – a young man who had just recently finished his apprenticeship as a cook, sporting black hair and one black eye, as the other was permanently shut with a scar covering the eyelid - looked up and grinned at the restaurant's manager. "Ah, Kakuzu-san! Cheesecake with whipped cream, as always?"

The brunette nodded and accepted the plate and tiny fork the cook gave him. He broke off a small piece and maneuvered it into his mouth before walking towards the windows. He swallowed and watched the sky, thinking about how stupid he was for not having brought an umbrella, when he noticed something strange.

A rainbow… in just Violet?

He shook his head; maybe he needed some fresh air? So he opened the window and – dear God, was that Violet rainbow coming _towards_ him?!

He got the answer in form of something crashing into his cake, making whipped cream fly through the air and hit his face and suit.

"…"

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Tobi, did Kisame chase some hobos away from our trash containers again?"

Tobi stuck his head out of the kitchen, raising an eyebrow. "Err… no, why?"

"Because someone just threw an ugly silver pendant at me and someone is going to pay for the drycleaner's bill for my suit."

The black-haired cook blinked. "Oh. Then uhm… Tobi will ask Kisame-san." He was about to turn around when –

"On second thought," Kakuzu said, sounding completely calm, "I would prefer if you told that guy outside to stop staring at me as if he's going to kill me and leave our grounds if he doesn't plan on eating at the restaurant."

Tobi paused. "Kakuzu-san, are you feeling alright? Tobi doesn't see a –"

"And dispose of this." Tobi's one open eye twitched as the restaurant's manager thrust the plate with ruined cake into his hands.

Kakuzu turned back to the window and nearly jumped when the man he had seen previously was suddenly standing right in front of him. He narrowed his eyes, studying him.

The was shorter than Kakuzu – the brunette was a good 185cm, and that guy seemed almost 10cm shorter than him – with a youthful, handsome face. He had light silver hair which almost appeared white, pale skin and bright Violet eyes. What really irritated Kakuzu though was that this man wore only a pair of loose Violet pants with golden cuffs around his ankles, no shirt, golden cuffs around his wrists, and nothing else. No jacket, no umbrella, but he wasn't wet at all!

Kakuzu glared, dangling the silver necklace in front of his face. "Did you throw this at me?"

The guy tried to grab it – but his hand went right through it?!

"Pardon my French," Kakuzu started slowly, "but who the _fuck_ are you?" He heard something clatter in the kitchen and narrowed his eyes. "Wait, don't answer that. Follow me and don't say a word."

--

The whole way to his apartment, Kakuzu glanced around him out of the corner of his eye – well, as much as he could with shoulder length brown hair, rain and a newspaper hindering his vision.

The silver-haired guy was _floating_. Not only that, he floated _through things_.

He looked fairly pissed off, with his eyes narrowed to slits, lips set in a firm line and arms crossed over his bare chest. If that guy had been able to touch Kakuzu, he might have felt a little threatened, but as it was, he seemed to be like a ghost; he couldn't touch anything or anyone.

The manager supposed he was safe as long as he had that necklace, considering that it had been the thing the ghost had reached for.

Nevertheless, he was incredibly relieved when he reached the building he lived in and immediately threw the newspaper he had used as protection against the rain into the trash. He walked past the stairs, pressed the elevator button, waited for a few seconds and then decided that taking the stairs would be faster after all.

Once he was in his apartment on the third floor, he was a little out of breath, and the ghost was still behind him. He took a deep breath and loosened his tie first, then unbuttoned the three top buttons of his shirt (which, he noticed with a sigh, had gone almost see-through from the rain and now wetly clung to his tan skin) and grabbed a hair tie from the narrow shelf underneath the hallway mirror, tying his hair up.

He turned around and stared at the ghost for a good moment. "I suppose that since you can't touch anything, it would be meaningless to offer you something to drink."

"Like I'd drink your fucking human shit."

"Lovely." Kakuzu narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, explain. Who are you, what are you, and what do you want from me."

The ghost huffed arrogantly. "Explaining everything would take a long time… you may call me Hidan, and because you have my necklace, I have to grant you three wishes."

Kakuzu stared at him blankly. "So you're something like a genie?"

"A what?"

Kakuzu sighed. "Nevermind. Obviously Tobi has finally poisoned my cake and now I'm hallucinating." He rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming. "Maybe I should take some aspirin and lay down, and when I wake up, I'll feel better… yes, I think that's a good idea." He stared towards the kitchen, but suddenly that genie was in his way again.

"Wait, wait!" Hidan glared, feet still not touching the ground. "Look, if you don't believe me, wish for something. I'll grant it."

Kakuzu gave him a look that clearly said '_Are you stupid?_'. "If this really was true, then that would be one hell of a wasted wish. But I suppose you do want me to waste them so you can have your necklace back..."

"Stop fucking over-analyzing and make a damn wish already!"

"Hm. Alright." Kakuzu looked around his apartment; he figured that he would need to wish for something of which he could see the effect immediately. After thinking for a few minutes (and a lot of rushing on Hidan's part) he finally decided on something. "I wish for my apartment to be spotlessly clean."

It was a sad truth that Kakuzu was a slob. He liked to always be prepared and he was persnickety with his office at work, but his apartment was a completely different matter. He usually ate out, so there wasn't much to clean in the kitchen; the only thing he really did on a regular basis was sloppily clean his bathroom, take out the trash and take his laundry to the drycleaner (because really, he just bought new underwear and socks when the need arose, and washing and ironing was too much work).

Hidan sniffed. "Good wish, asshole, this place is a fucking _mess_."

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow in interest. How was this guy going to fulfill his wish? He secretly anticipated a blink like in _I dream of Jeannie_ and felt slightly disappointed when all it took was for Hidan to snap his fingers and –

His apartment was _clean_. Freakishly so.

He stayed quiet for a few moments before slowly sitting down on the (clean, trash-less) couch.

Hidan drummed his fingers on his arm. "So? Happy? What's your second wish?"

"…"

"Ugh, just hurry the fuck up, seriously! I don't want to rot down here!"

"…What did you say the rules for this are? I can wish for anything? Whatever it is?"

Hidan rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed. "Yes! You can wish to become the King of what-fucking-ever if that's what you dig!"

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes and sat up straighter. "I wish for an infinite supply of wishes."

"Sure, granted – Hey, wait! That's not -"

Kakuzu smirked, eyes still narrowed. "You said it's granted."

Hidan glared daggers at the brunette. "You just signed yourself up for hell, are you aware? Because I'm going to _terrorize_ you until you wish for me to return to where I came from!"

"As the first wish of my infinite amount of them," Kakuzu said pointedly loud, "I wish for you to shut up for the next hour."

And ah, what a blissful hour it was.


	2. I'm a genie in a pendant?

Thank you to everyone who took the time to review and/or favorite and/or put it on their story alert! I really appreciate your support ^^

In response to Lychenne Laki's review, I would like to generally say that if you have an idea for this fic, you are free to tell me – even though I have plenty of ideas myself, if your idea is good and fits my plans, I'll try to integrate it, with proper credit of course!

EDIT: I made a mistake and Manami. The. Log. took the time to point it out XD Hidan should be "Violet", not "Purple". Sorry for having made that mistake and many thanks to Manami for correcting this! I have gone back to correct it in both chapters.

--

Kakuzu turned onto his side, sighing sleepily. He always kept his eyes closed until his alarm clock went off a second time, thinking about what he dreamed about or his plans for the day.

Today was… Saturday. Ah, yes. He'd be going to the restaurant at ten o'clock, just like he did every Saturday – he had to plan the menus for next week with Kisame and Zetsu and have a talk with the head waiter about how the newbie had been doing, check with the chefs which supplies he needed to order for the next week and see if there had been any problems.

Sounded stressful again. No wonder he'd had such a cracky dream that night; he was stressed.

His alarm clock rung again, signaling that his ten minutes snoozing time were over, and he reached out, smacking the thing which he was sure had been invented by the devil. He opened his eyes slowly and…

"Ugh, about fucking time! I thought you were dead or something!"

…stared right into the pissed off face of a handsome young man with silvery white hair and Violet eyes.

The genie (Kakuzu didn't really know what else to call him. A ghost? Spirit?) huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "You've been lying there with your eyes closed for _hours_! What the hell is up with you humans?! I thought you were fucking dead, seriously!"

"I was sleeping," Kakuzu muttered dryly and pushed his comforter aside. He swung his legs out of the bed and sat up, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his face.

"Sleeping," Hidan repeated thoughtfully and floated back when Kakuzu got out of bed, "I think Yellow mentioned that once… that humans need to collect energy or they don't function."

"Of course."Kakuzu rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You're worse than just an annoying person. You're an annoying person who doesn't _sleep_ and therefore has more time to be annoying."

"And you make stupid noises when you do that fucking sleeping thing!" Hidan threw his hands up into the air, rolling his eyes. "All chr, chr!" If Kakuzu wasn't so grumpy in the morning, he might have laughed at Hidan's attempt to make a snoring noise.

As it was, though, he was a morning grump and walked into the kitchen, slipping a hand into his boxers to scratch the skin (which made Hidan yell about indecent exposure) and put on some coffee.

While the coffee machine was working, he made his way to the bathroom, vaguely aware of Hidan following, still bitching. He glared at Hidan out of the corner of his eyes. "Do you mind?"

"Mind what?"

"I want to take a shower. Get out." Once he was sure that the genie was gone, Kakuzu finally took off his boxers, tossing them in the laundry basket, and turned on the shower.

Ten minutes later, when he left the shower again, he was met with Hidan again. The silver-haired man was studying a shelf with toiletries in fascination. "What do you need all this shit for, seriously?"

"I thought I told you to get out."

"I was bored."

Kakuzu's hand twitched in annoyance, but he tried to control himself and wrapped a towel around his waist. "Get out of my way." He took Hidan's place by the shelf, pulling out his shaving utensils.

It was kind of annoying how Hidan watched Kakuzu shave, face scrunched up in confusion, but at least he was quiet. It wasn't before Kakuzu was finished that Hidan finally spoke up. "Why the fuck do you do that?"

"Don't tell me you're not old enough to grow facial hair."

"…uh. I'm not human, nothing grows on me."

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, starting to pack away the shaving things since he was done. "So you've looked like this your entire life?"

"Well, no…" Hidan rolled his eyes. "My body grew older, I guess. But I haven't aged for the past few centuries –"

"_Centuries_?!"

" – Yes, asshole, centuries. Anyway, I just look like this. My hair doesn't grow longer, my skin doesn't age. I don't eat or drink or… sleep, was that the word?"

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "How old are you?"

Hidan snorted. "As old as this planet, moron."

"What exactly _are_ you?"

Hidan sat cross-legged in the air, shrugging. "I'm the sixth child of Mother Sun, sent to the earth with my siblings to bring happiness."

Kakuzu snorted. "Don't make me laugh. You, bring happiness? You probably make people kill themselves." He tossed his towel into the laundry basket and left the bathroom in favor of his bedroom. Hidan, of course, followed loyally.

"Ugh, I wish! But it's forbidden for me to kill you stupid humans!"

Kakuzu pulled on a pair of black silk boxers, followed by black dress pants and a white dress shirt. "What else are you forbidden to do?"

"Uh…" Hidan thought for a moment, crossing his arms behind his head. "I must not kill people, I must not revive people, I must not change a person's will by magic, I must not change the course of history…"

"Ergo: You're not allowed to do any of the good things." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, struggling with his tie. "Tie my tie." Hidan snapped his fingers, and Kakuzu watched with a raised eyebrow as his tie tied itself perfectly around his neck.

Kakuzu combed a hand through his brown hair and went back to his kitchen, where his coffee was waiting. He grabbed the newspaper, sat down at the table and took a sip of the strong brew.

Hidan read over his shoulder boredly. "It's really unfair; humans can kill each other, but I can't kill them."

"Sadly, it's illegal to kill someone. You go to jail for it." The brunette tapped the article they were talking about with his finger. "This one was particularly nasty. A teacher sexually harassed a student, and when the student's foster father found out and confronted the teacher, the teacher blew him into bits and pieces."

Hidan snorted. "Humans… they're perverts."

"Says the genie who watched me shower."

"I told you I'm not a fucking genie, whatever the hell that is!"

"Whatever." Kakuzu finished his coffee and got up. "I'm going to work now. I'll be back tonight; stay inside my apartment and don't touch anything."

--

"So, Itachi, how's the newbie doing?"

The dark-haired man glanced in the direction of the boy they were talking about; he looked around eighteen or nineteen with long blond hair that he wore in a ponytail and big blue eyes. "Fairly well. Friendly with the customers, not clumsy, I haven't gotten a single complaint about him. Orochimaru actually gave him a tip."

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow; Orochimaru was one of their more frequent customers, and ever since Itachi had poured a drink on him for hitting on him, he hadn't given any of their waiters a tip. "Sounds like a good deal, then. I'll print out a contract for him this afternoon. Is Karin scheduled for the late shift tomorrow?"

"I… I think so, yes…"

"Switch her with the newbie. I want him to do the shift with you because you know how to handle Orochimaru the best."

"Of course. His name is Deidara, by the way."

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "Whose?"

Itachi sighed. "The new waiter's. You should at least remember your employee's name, Kakuzu-san…"

"Right. It's Saturday; are Suigetsu and Haku scheduled for this afternoon?"

"Actually, my brother is scheduled with Suigetsu-kun."

"Good; your brother always attracts a lot of customers." The brunette pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll be in the kitchen, discussing the menu with Kisame and Zetsu. Should anything unexpected happen, come get me."

--

"You did _what_?"

"It was the best thing I could have done." Orange regarded the blue-haired woman emotionlessly. "You did not hear how he talked to Mother Sun, Blue."

"But to forcefully send him down when we have no information whatsoever about Yellow and Green's whereabouts…" Blue shook her head softly. "I'm angry with you, Nagato."

"Do not call me by that name." He glared at her, cold fury in his eyes. "Violet is spoiled. He needs to learn what pain is."

Blue looked at him sadly. "I would rather have a spoiled brother than another lost one." And with that, she turned around and left.

--

"Kaaaakuzuuuuu…"

Dear God. He had just gotten home; please, _please_, just a minute of silence, please –

"Ugh, finally you're here, I was so fucking bored, seriously! How long were you gone, a fucking century?!"

Kakuzu closed his umbrella and put it in the appropriate stand, completely ignoring the genie.

"- and your neighbors are seriously noisy, they can't ever shut up. They keep on yelling at each other and make weird noises, like _unf unf_."

"Hidan…"

"- ringing noise and then knocking, I would've opened the door, but y'know that I can't touch anything right now…"

"Hidan."

"- want to try out that thing you did with your face this morning –"

"Hidan, _shut up_!" Kakuzu glared at the silver-haired man, stunning him to silence. "I just worked ten hours and I'm _tired_. Is ten minutes of peace and quiet too much to ask?"

Hidan huffed. "Well I just spent ten hours doing nothing because I can't touch anything and I had no-one to talk to and I'm _bored_! I'm here to learn but I can't fucking learn if I'm locked up in here, seriously!"

Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose. "Here to learn what?"

The genie glared at him. "Like I'm telling you of all people."

"Just to inform you: you're stuck with me. Infinite amount of wishes, remember?"

"Ugh, I know, and I fucking hate you for it." Hidan's glare darkened. "Do you know how much Orange will mock me if he ever finds out about this?"

"Who is Orange?"

"Ugh, do you even _listen_?" Hidan sighed in that special way that Kakuzu only knew from annoyed women. "I told you, I'm Mother Sun's sixth child. Orange is the second child, so he's my older brother."

"So I have to worry about _more_ genies coming my way?"

"Nah, I doubt it." Hidan waved it off. "Green and Yellow have gone missing, Red is searching for them, Orange would rather die than go to the human world again and Blue is wherever Orange is."

Kakuzu furrowed his eyebrows. Green, Yellow, Red, Orange, Blue… Sun? Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue – "…Rainbow?"

"What?"

"Oh my _God_. You're – you're the colors of the rainbow, and _you_ are _Violet_."

Hidan's eye twitched. "What?! It's not my fault! It's a good color! Stop laughing! I said – hey! I told you to stop laughing, asshole!"

But Kakuzu couldn't. You see, Kakuzu did not laugh very often; in fact, he was usually so stressed and annoyed that he was just plain cranky. But for some reason imagining the aggressive genie in a magical girl outfit representing the color Violet made him cry from laughing so hard.

Hidan's face was bright red with embarrassment and anger; he actually tried to hit Kakuzu, but his hand went right through the brunette's head. "Ugh! I wish I could beat the shit out of you!"

Kakuzu tried to regain his composure, clearing his throat and wiping at his eyes. "Good luck with that, idiot."

Hidan was furious; much to his advantage, though, a rare thing happened: he had an intelligent idea. With a malicious smirk on his face, he snapped his fingers, and the shelf above Kakuzu's head collapsed, hitting Kakuzu and –

…Well, shit.

--

"Big brother Red."

The man with long black hair and crimson eyes turned around to face his younger sister. "What gives me the honour, Blue? Usually you're always with Orange."

The blue-haired woman's face took on a painful expression. "I am angry with him. He did something stupid and I need your help to fix it."

"How can I help my only sister, then?"

She folded her hands across her chest. "Orange made Violet go to the human world against his will. Now I am afraid that the same thing that happened to Yellow and Green might happen to Violet…"

"Orange," Red snarled, "is going to pay for that. I will start my search for Violet immediately." He reached behind him, pulling out the large fan strapped to his back, and swung it – he was gone in an instant.

Blue closed her eyes, hands still folded. "Please," she murmured, "find Violet, Yellow and Green… I don't want them to turn out like Pain."

--

His head hurt. A lot. And he was dizzy. He tried to sit up and for a moment, everything went black again, but after squeezing his eyes shut for a second, he felt slightly better. Or at least he was conscious, anyway.

"- Oh thank fuck! Shit, man, you scared me!"

He slowly got up, knees shaking for a moment, and leaned against the wall to keep himself up. A few breaths to make the dizziness pass, and then he already felt a little better. "I think I'll be okay… a night of rest and I should be fine."

"Ugh, good. You humans are fragile, seriously. One book to the head and you drop down… I thought you were dead again."

"Shut up, my head hurts."

"Dude, will you really be fine? Don't you humans have like… medicine men or something like that?"

"Doctors. And I told you, I will be okay, I just need rest. I used to box; I know how to deal with a hit to the head." Slowly but surely, Kakuzu made his way to the bathroom, stripped and washed up before heading to the bedroom, still followed by Hidan.

"Hey, can I come to your work tomorrow?"

Kakuzu grunted, slowly sitting down on his bed. "Why would I do that? You'd just annoy me."

"But I'm bored here!"

The brunette sighed, lying down. "I don't want you floating around the restaurant. You'd probably wreak havoc."

"Okay, how about this – I'll just stay inside the pendant!" Hidan grinned innocently. "Then you can summon me when you want to, and I can see everything without disturbing!"

But Kakuzu was already in dreamland.

--


	3. Somewhere over the rainbow

Disclaimer: No ownage.

Thanks for the reviews, story alerts and favorites *3* I love you all!

Special thanks to Manami, who pointed out a mistake I've made. I went back to fix it!

--

Kakuzu was fine the next morning with the exception of a slight bump on his head, but he could deal with that.

Same as the morning before, Hidan had not slept. Kakuzu got ready in his usual routine, taking his sweet time because it was Sunday and he wouldn't go to the restaurant until eleven.

Since he had so much time, he turned on the TV and –

"AAH! MAGIC!"

He slowly turned to look at Hidan, who stared at the TV with wide eyes. "…You don't know what a TV is. Right. Makes sense."

The purple-eyed man looked at Kakuzu in amazement. "I didn't know you humans had magic like that! We have something like that too – a well through which we can watch the human world – but this… this is much more compact…"

Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose, flipping to a different channel. "It's not magic. It's a television; a box filled with electronics that receives single pictures over electromagnetic waves and… I lost you, didn't I?"

Hidan knelt down close in front of the TV and poked the screen suspiciously. "Are the people inside that thing or is this projection magic?"

Whatever. Kakuzu figured he could just let Hidan believe what he wanted. He grabbed his jacket and collected things he'd need at work, half-listening to the news. He paused when he saw the pendant lying on his table. Should he take it with him? He might lose it if he did, so maybe it'd be better off here. "Hey, does this thing actually have a purpose?"

Hidan looked up from his place perched in front of the television. "Of course it fucking does! It was Mother Sun's gift to me when I was born; it's very precious to me!"

"And other than personal value?"

Hidan narrowed his eyes, sulking at how unimpressed Kakuzu sounded. "We, the children of Mother Sun, can communicate with our master – the holder of our precious item – through it when we're apart. You can summon me through it, too. When I'm bored I can go inside the pendant…

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "Can you communicate with your siblings through this?"

"Ugh, I wish I could." Hidan glared. "Then I would've gotten Red to get me the fuck out of here… he's fucking strong, seriously. He'd kick your ass."

The brunette merely snorted at that and slipped the pendant into his pocket, just in case. "I'll be going now."

Hidan floated towards Kakuzu, snapping his fingers to fix the brunette's tie. "When are you going to be back? It's fucking boring here alone!"

"I'll leave you the TV on. Maybe you can learn something from it." He checked his appearance in the mirror before turning towards Hidan and –

and pausing.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, pulling back the hand he had raised from an instinct. The last time he had let someone stay in his apartment and was seen off to work was with his last girlfriend. She had always tied his tie, he'd check it in the mirror, give her a kiss on the cheek and leave.

Old habits sure died hard.

Hidan raised an eyebrow in confusion, by then sitting cross-legged upside down in the air. "Dude?"

Kakuzu shook his head, muttered a "see you later" and left.

--

"This is the contract. Please read is thoroughly before signing."

The blond nodded, taking the contract. After a few minutes, he finished reading through it and signed.

Kakuzu accepted the contract and placed it in a drawer. "So, Deidara, was it? Itachi said you're very good at handling customers. Just out of curiosity, have you worked I the service industry before?"

"Oh," he muttered softly, "yeah, you could say that… But I don't have a reference, if that's what you want."

"I don't need one; you've convinced Itachi and Tobi vouched for you." The brunette leaned back in his chair. "Why did you quit your previous job?"

"I didn't exactly quit… It was more like…" He clicked his tongue. "I fulfilled my contract and couldn't prolong it, yeah."

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, but he didn't pry. "Okay, about your working times… Which shifts do you prefer?"

"Oh, any shift is fine, yeah." He shrugged. "I'm free all the time."

Kakuzu's other eyebrow rose now as well. "That's great. You can keep the uniform you had for the test days, plus we will give you an additional one. You are in charge of keeping them clean and proper. Any questions?"

The blond shook his hand and Kakuzu dismissed him with a wave of his hand. He stared after him for a good moment, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Deidara had not asked about the money he earned at all – not how he would get it (it would be transferred to his account), when this would happen (the twentieth of the following month) or how much he even got per hour.

Weird.

--

"Kakuzu-san! Cake time!"

Kakuzu looked up from his computer. "Coming." He stretched once before getting up and leaving the small office behind the kitchen. Tobi was waiting there with several delicious-looking pieces of cake.

The younger man grinned. "_Tarte au chocolat_," he said. "That's French chocolate cake."

"Looks good." The brunette took a plate and a small fork, taking a bite. He nearly moaned at the rich taste flooding his mouth. So, so good. "This is heavenly, Tobi."

At that moment, Deidara passed by the kitchen with some dirty plates, carrying them towards the scullery. "Deidara-san, come try this cake!"

Deidara narrowed his eyes slightly. "Tobi, I told you not to annoy me while I – oh, hello Kakuzu-san, I'll just bring this plates to –"

"Do that." Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, looking at Tobi. "He's your roommate, right?"

"Yes!" The Uchiha beamed. "Isn't that just awesome?!"

Kakuzu snorted. "You sound like you adore him. Like a little school girl."

Tobi frowned. "It's not like that… it's just, when I met Deidara-san, he was very, very sad, and I'm very happy when Deidara-san is not being sad. When Deidara-san is annoyed Tobi, Deidara-san is at least not sad."

The brunette shook his head with a sigh. "Thanks, St. Tobi." He took the last bite of his piece of cake. "Thank you for the cake. I will remember it when Kisame, Zetsu and I make the menu for the week after the next one."

--

"I'm home."

Kakuzu closed the door softly behind him, slipped off his shoes and nudged them to the side with his toes so he wouldn't stumble over them the next morning, tugged his tie looser and continued to the living room.

Hidan was floating above the coffee table, eyes fixated on the TV. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow and placed the bag he'd been carrying on the table. He hadn't exactly expected a "Welcome home, honey", but some sort of reaction would have been nice. "I said I'm home."

"Shh!" The silver-haired spirit waved him off. "I'm watching this!"

Kakuzu looked at the screen and couldn't hold back a screen. Ironically, Hidan was watching Disney's "Aladdin". "This is a kids movie, Hidan…"

Then again, the brunette figured, Hidan _was_ like a kid – he was absolutely clueless, had no experience in this world, immature, impatient and he probably had never heard of stories like these before.

While Hidan watched the movie, Kakuzu opened the back to take out the food he had taken home from the restaurant.

It was actually kind of fun to watch Hidan; he laughed, grinned, gasped and frowned at just the right moments, just like a child, and actually started cussing out the TV when Djafar revealed Aladdin's true identity. In a way, it was refreshing and… cute?

The brunette shook his head. What the hell was wrong with him today? First he almost treated Hidan like his former girlfriends, and now he thought he was cute?

Obviously, he was desperate and needed to get laid. Soon.

--

They fell in a sort of routine over the next week; while Kakuzu got ready in the morning, Hidan talked and talked and talked, Kakuzu would go to work, Hidan would watch TV while Kakuzu was gone (which actually helped, since he learned a lot that way), Kakuzu came back, ate dinner, they'd talk and then he'd go to bed.

It was Friday and Hidan was watching _Hercules_ when he realized that the sun had to set already. Usually Kakuzu was back by this time. He felt a little uneasy, but brushed it off as being paranoid.

The next time mark Hidan knew was that one news show Kakuzu always watched right before going to bed. When the show began and Kakuzu still wasn't there, Hidan knew that he wasn't being paranoid anymore.

Something was wrong. Kakuzu wasn't coming home.

What if something had happened to him? Hidan knew that there were shitty humans; what if one of them had killed Kakuzu? Shit. Fuck, fuck, shit, what was he going to do?

He had already lost two of his brothers who had gone missing. He was separated from his other siblings. He only had Kakuzu – not only that, but Kakuzu also had his pendant. Without Kakuzu, Hidan would be…

What would he be? Lost? How pathetic.

--

Kakuzu was having a good time. After work, he had decided to spend the Friday night out; it had been a while and he needed some other company than Hidan. Since he often caught himself staring at Hidan, he figured he'd try to pick up a guy that night – he went both ways, anyway.

He had eventually found a handsome guy, they drank martini together, and the night ended at the guy's apartment with a nice time together.

Afterwards, Kakuzu rolled off of him and tried to catch his breath. A hand snaked itself over his chest, rubbing gently. "Want to stay the night?"

The brunette opened his eyes and turned his head to look at the other man – and stared into bright purple eyes.

He nearly fell off the bed in shock.

Okay. Okay, what the fuck? For a moment he had thought that was _Hidan_ and that would have just been plain wrong. Speaking of the devil, maybe he should head home and see if that idiot had messed anything up. "Thanks, but my roommate is probably waiting for me."

--

As one of Mother Sun's children, Hidan did not know many emotions. He knew anger because Orange always made him angry – he thought humans called that particular thing 'hate' – but other than that, he had only seen emotions, not felt them. Even when Green and Yellow had gone missing, he hadn't thought too much about it – he had never really had anything to do with Green, and Yellow was usually occupied with watching the human world.

When Kakuzu didn't come home, it was the first time Hidan ever felt worried for someone other than himself.

For a brief moment, he thought that maybe he was only worried because of what would happen to him without Kakuzu, but even when he assured himself that in this case, Red would come get him, he felt not the least bit better.

By midnight, he was desperate.

And that was how Kakuzu found him when he finally did come home.

--

When Kakuzu came home, he expected Hidan to bitch at him about having been bored. What he had not expected was that the genie launched himself at the brunette in an attempt to hug him and then went right through him.

"You stupid jackass!" Hidan tried to hit the brunette after the failed hug, but his hand, again, went right through Kakuzu. "Where the hell were you?! I was fucking worried!"

Kakuzu stared at the silver-haired spirit in surprise. "I was out."

"I fucking noticed _that_ much!"

If he had been able to touch him, Kakuzu might have patted Hidan's shoulder to calm him down a little. As it was, the brunette could only stare at the still clearly upset genie. He shook his head, sighing. When exactly had his life turned out like this? "I'm going to bed."

That night, Hidan did not take up his usual task of trying to avoid boredom. Instead, he stayed right by Kakuzu's side and watched him sleep to make sure that he would not just disappear.

--

"Hey, Sakura," Ino whispered, "isn't that new waiter just the _cutest_?"

The pink-haired girl frowned, taking a quick look at the man with the blond ponytail. "Sure… but Sasuke-kun's cuter."

"Well, obviously. That's because Sasuke-kun's the hottest guy in this town! Speaking of Sasuke, why are we here when today's not his shift?"

Their conversation was interrupted by a man with a black-haired ponytail coming up to their table. He smiled slightly at Sakura. "Can I take your order, Haruno-san?"

The pink-haired girl smiled back and handed him the menu. "Oh, hey, Itachi-san… I'll have water and a fruit salad, please."

Ino looked between the two, who were still smiling at each other, neither letting go of the menu, before smirking. "I see…"

Their moment was, however, interrupted by something clattering, and Itachi whirled around just in time to catch his collapsing colleague. "Deidara, what's wrong?"

The blond held his head, nodding slightly. "Yeah, sorry… I'll just – I'll just go to the back and sit down for a moment…"

"Are you feeling dizzy?"

"A little, yeah…"

The Uchiha looked at Sakura and Ino over his shoulder. "Excuse me for a moment, please, I'll just take him to the back."

Sakura watched the two leave, frowning. "I hope he'll be alright, he did look very pale."

Ino just smirked at her. "You like Sasuke-kun's brother."

Sakura blushed furiously. "W-what?! No! I like Sasuke-kun!"

Ino snickered. "Suuure, forehead-girl, keep telling yourself that…"

--

Tobi frowned at his blond roommate, who was now sitting in the kitchen. "You got dizzy?"

Deidara nodded and looked up. When he saw all the different kinds of food around him, he groaned quietly. "Oh sh… that's why! I forgot to eat…"

Tobi sighed. "Again? Really, Deidara-san, how come someone as healthy looking as you forgets to eat so often that you almost collapse from having no energy?"

Deidara avoided the Uchiha's gaze, blushing. "I'm not used to eating… I mean, eating regular meals, yeah, you understand?"

Tobi gasped. "I'm sorry! Oh God, and here I go, always working, so I can't cook for you at home! Tobi is such a bad boy! I'll go get you some cake right away!"

--

Kakuzu got out of his office to get his daily piece of cake, but before doing so, he checked the restaurant. He raised an eyebrow and stopped Itachi, who was just walking past him. "Hey, Itachi, who's that weird looking guy in green with Pinky?"

Itachi glared slightly at him. "Her name is _Sakura_, she's one of our regulars, you should know that."

"Whatever." The brunette narrowed his eyes. "Go tell that guy that if he wants to stay in my restaurant, his feet have to at least touch the ground."

Itachi stared at his retreating boss in complete confusion. "…But Kakuzu-san, there isn't anyone with Haruno-san…"

--

"A _what_?"

"It's a prism." Kakuzu finished tying the string with a crystal attached to a small hook above the window. "It breaks the light and… just look."

Hidan looked down at the windowsill, his jaw dropping when he saw the rainbow colors appearing on it where the sun shone through the prism. "Whoah, this is fucking awesome!"

"I thought you'd like it." The truth was that Kakuzu still felt kind of bad about having made Hidan worry; he wasn't going to apologize, so he figured the least he could do was give the genie a little present.

"Hey," the silver-haired spirit started, eyes still on the colorful spots of light, "can I come to your work tomorrow? It's fucking boring here, even with the TV."

Kakuzu made a face; the dreaded question. "Hm… maybe. If you behave."

--

…Plot? You want a plot? It's almost 2am, I don't have a plot for you! DX

Reviews and ideas are welcome. Valentine's chocolates as well ;D


	4. 99 Luftballons

You thought I would never update, didn't you? But here I am, back to torture you with more of my crappy stories!

* * *

„Master Kakuzu…"

Kakuzu sat up in his bed, sighing. "Hidan, I told you, don't annoy me."

"But Master Kakuzu!" Hidan sulked, sitting on the other end of the bed. "I'm bored."

"I don't care. I'm tired, I want to sleep."

Hidan crawled towards his master on hands and knees in an almost seductive, a blush burning on his face. Kakuzu leaned back when Hidan came closer, but there was no escaping – the genie only stopped when he was so close that Kakuzu could feel the warmth of his body. "Why don't you wish for it, Master Kakuzu? I'll make it come true." His hand was dangerously close to Kakuzu's crotch; his face leaned in until their lips almost met. "I can make each…" Hand on crotch, emergency, _hand. On. Crotch._ "…And every single one of your wishes come true…"

--

Kakuzu awoke with a major problem in his pants. Lucky for him, he couldn't see Hidan anywhere in his bedroom – otherwise, he might have been in trouble.

He should have known it was a dream anyway – after all, Hidan could not touch him. He told himself that he was not disappointed and went to take a shower.

When he came back, feeling much better, he went to the living room. Hidan was perched in front of the TV, watching Aladdin again. He was cussing at the TV, where Aladdin was playing again. How often did that channel even plan on airing it?

"Hey bastard," the silver-haired man called in a bored voice, "you're being especially grumpy this morning."

"Shut up before I kill you."

"You can't fucking kill me, idiot. I'm immortal!"

Kakuzu directed his glare at the genie sitting in front of the TV. "I bet I could wish for your death."

Hidan's eyes narrowed to purple slits. "You could, but you wouldn't have any more wishes."

Kakuzu smirked slightly. "I'd rather have you gone than my wishes fulfilled."

Hidan's glare darkened. "So do it, you fucking pussy."

"Don't tempt me." He slipped on his jacket. "Tie."

Hidan huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't follow orders, asshole. I grant wishes, there's a difference."

"If you don't do it right this instance, I won't take you to work with me."

Damn it. Hidan glared at Kakuzu from the corners of his eyes, sulking. If he refused to fix Kakuzu's tie on order, he would get his point across, but in the end, Kakuzu could still wish for it, and then Hidan _had_ to do it. It also meant he would have to stay home that day – and who knew if Kakuzu held grudges? Maybe it would be better to submit to Kakuzu's order…

God. He hated having to swallow his pride, but he grudgingly snapped his fingers and looked away. He did not need to see Kakuzu's smug smirk as his tie was fixed by magic.

"How kind of you. I'll be taking my leave; don't watch too much TV."

"What?!" He finally looked up, frowning. "You said you'd take me to work with you if I fixed your tie!"

And there it was again – that stupid smug smirk. "I said I wouldn't take if you didn't do it. I never said I'd take you if you did."

"You're such a fucking –" He launched himself at Kakuzu, arm lifted for a punch, but just before Hidan's hand came close to Kakuzu's shirt, the brunette lifted the triangle pendant in defense and Hidan –

…got absorbed by it?

Hidan looked about as surprised as Kakuzu when he suddenly got sucked inside the silver pendant, and Kakuzu stared down at the material. Instead of seeing the light reflecting on it, he saw Hidan's face, and boy, did he look pissed.

"Kakuzu, you shit! Let me out!"

The smirk returned to the brunette's face. "Now that is interesting… You can't get out of there by yourself?"

"I can, you jackass! But if you force me in here, I can only get out if you let me!"

"Good." Smirk still in place, Kakuzu checked his tie in the mirror and slipped the pendant into his pocket. "Then let's go."

--

A few hours later, Kakuzu was busy doing paperwork at the office. He had put the pendant on the desk, and from time to time, Hidan would try to strike up a conversation, which the brunette ignored completely. Around noon, he opened the window to let the last rays of sunshine this autumn would bring in and went to get something to eat.

He stretched, walking towards the kitchen. "Do you have anything to eat for me, Tobi?"

"Kisame-san is about to make something with salmon, would that be alright?"

"That'll be perfect. Have someone bring it to my office when it's finished." He turned back around, returning to his office, but froze in the doorway.

A magpie tilted its head, standing on his desk with Hidan's pendant in its beak.

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "Trust me, you don't want to do that."

The magpie stared at him, appearing unimpressed, before flying out of the window. Kakuzu swore he could hear Hidan screaming. Damn, this _so_ just didn't happen. There was absolutely no way he would start running after a stupid _bird_. Never, not in a million years.

But then he thought about his infinite wishes…

--

Damn it. Hidan had known being forced into the pendant would only cause chaos; he couldn't even get out of the pendant to tell Kakuzu where he could find it, and he sincerely doubted the brunette would bother to come after him.

"Gah, stop fucking pecking at the pendant, it fucking hurts!"

And then, something even worse happened: the magpie, apparently startled by his screaming, dropped him. Mid-flight.

--

Sakura Haruno had always been a normal child with a big brain and an even bigger forehead. This had, in her younger years, caused other children to bully her, but now as a teenager, she was more confident.

She had been a normal teenager with a crush on her classmate until she found a red band with a small metal plate and a weird symbol engraved on it on the sidewalk and a guy with huge eyebrows, a bowl cut and a green bodysuit emerged.

Rock Lee had turned her life around.

Her first attempt to make a wish had been for Sasuke-kun to return her love, but Lee had replied that if he did not love her already, he was not worthy of her affection.

Her second attempt had been to be prettier, specifically her forehead. Lee had told her she was already the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Her third attempt to make a wish had been to become a stronger person, but Lee had only smiled, telling her that the only way to become a stronger person was through hard work.

And so, Sakura had stopped trying to make wishes and started working on herself, Lee always by her side, encouraging her. She studied more, worked out more, cut off her hair and started gaining confidence.

It was a nice afternoon in late September and she was on a quick run to clear her head, Lee running alongside her (even though he could technically fly, he insisted on doing things like this with her). She was near the restaurant Sasuke worked at when she nearly tripped over something. She managed to catch herself before she fell and whirled around, trying to see what had been in her way.

A silver pendant with an upside down triangle. Huh. Weird. She raised an eyebrow, leaning down to pick it up and –

"Please don't touch it, Sakura-san!"

She raised an eyebrow, but stopped her hand mid-movement. "What's wrong?"

Lee frowned, crouching down in front of the pendant. "This looks like my brother's..."

"…Green? Is that you?!"

"This _is_ my brother's!" Lee gasped in excitement. "Violet, what are you doing in the human world? Are you on a youthful adventure?!"

The voice coming from the pendant made a snorting sound. "Orange fucking forced me here, and then that idiot Kakuzu trapped me in the pendant and a bird stole me from his desk!"

"Kakuzu, you say?" Sakura tilted her head. "Isn't Kakuzu-san the owner of the restaurant Sasuke-kun works at?"

--

"Kakuzu-san," Tobi whined, "I searched all the trees near the restaurant and there wasn't a single one with a bird's nest!"

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure? Have you searched thoroughly? We're talking about something that is very precious to me, Tobi. Extremely valuable."

"Tobi is a chef, not a private detective!"

--

"Talk to Kakuzu-san?" Itachi's expression almost didn't change. Almost. "He's busy, I believe."

Sakura smiled nervously, scratching the back of her head. Just great – she was sweaty and messed up from her run, and of course it would be Sasuke's brother who was on duty that day. "But it's very important, Itachi-san."

He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again, the corners of his mouth twitching up just slightly – enough for Sakura's eyes to light up with hope. "I'll ask him. What do you want me to tell him?"

She stayed silent for a moment, her eyes going to the right – almost out of an instinct, Itachi looked at her right, thinking there was someone she was listening to, but there wasn't anyone there. After a few seconds, she smiled. "Please tell him someone wants to see him about Violet. He'll understand."

"No need," a deep voice mumbled, "I heard everything. Follow me."

A chill ran down Sakura's spine; there was just something seriously intimidating about the Akatsuki's owner with his tan skin, dark hair and piercing green eyes. She followed him anyway; if anything went wrong, she had Lee to watch out for her after all.

Kakuzu's office was small, she noticed, but full of light. The main part was a large desk, which was messily covered in paperwork, and shelves with folders, folders and more folders. She closed the door after entering, looking around curiously.

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed. "Itachi couldn't see that green guy next to you, could he?"

Sakura smiled nervously. "His name is Lee-san, and no, Itachi-san couldn't see him." She reached into her pocket, pulling out a tissue – she laid it on the desk, and Kakuzu could see the metal of Hidan's pendant wrapped up in it, gleaming in the sunlight. "Here you go, I found it on the sidewalk."

The moment Kakuzu touched the pendant, that obnoxiously loud voice started cussing again, and the brunette sighed. "You may come out, Hidan."

"May? _May_?" Hidan glared, appearing in front of his master. He had one hand on his hip and the other was busy trying to poke its finger into Kakuzu's chest – without success, since it always just went through. "Do you know what I've been through today?! First I got trapped in that shit-ass pendant, then a fucking bird kidnapped me, I was found by my wimp of a brother and that girl with the large forehead and now you tell me that I _may_ come out of the pendant?! Fuck you, you fucking asshole!"

"Hey," Lee protested, "don't insult Sakura-san like that!"

"It's pretty brave of you to insult other people's looks while you are wearing purple pants." Sakura glared at the genie, who, of course, was always up for a fight.

"They are _violet_, dumbshit, get it right!"

"Sakura-san, Violet-san! It is not good to fight now!"

"Shut up!" Kakuzu glared at the lot of them. "All of you, shut your mouths before I kill you!" he looked at them in an almost challenging way before going on. "What do you two want as a reward for helping Hidan? Money? Coupons?"

Sakura blinked in confusion. "We don't want anything… I mean, Violet is Lee-san's brother, it's only natural that we help him."

Kakuzu snorted. "Touching – someone who actually helps for free. At least have something to eat – I can't let you leave the restaurant with an empty stomach, that would be unprofessional."

Sakura blushed, looking down at herself. "But… I'm wearing sweatpants, I can't –"

The brunette smirked. "I'm sure Itachi won't mind if you eat with him in the staff room. His break should be soon anyway."

--

"Ya know, I never expected that I'd see you again." Hidan stretched, floating around the backyard contently. "You were missing for a long time. Red's been looking for you every-fucking-where and Orange couldn't sense you anymore."

"Ah…" Lee tilted his head, scratching his shiny black hair. Even though he was older than Hidan, he looked a few years younger with his slimmer build and shorter stature. He wore the same attire as Hidan – golden cuffs around his wrists, ankles and throat, black slippers and wide pants, the only exception being that his pants were green. "You see, I changed masters a lot. My first master, Neji-san, he made me feel frustrated and self-conscious and threw me away once I fulfilled his wishes. My second master, Tenten-san, was kinder, but she wasn't able to restore my faith in humanity. She passed me on to someone who, in her opinion, would be able to – she gave me to Gai-sensei."

Hidan snorted. "Figures humans would suck ass."

"Not all of them do, brother." The black-haired boy smiled softly. "Gai-sensei is a very kind man. Through him, I met Sakura-san, whom I adore and love."

Hidan almost choked on his breath. "You _what_?!"

"I love Sakura-san."

The silver-haired man whirled around to face his brother. "How can you fall in love with a fucking human, Green?! It can't work, you can't even touch each other!"

"We do not pick those we love." Lee's smile turned slightly sad, the corners of his mouth sinking. "Sakura-san loves another, and I am a child of mother Sun while she is human. It would never work. But still, I promised to always stay by her side and protect and support her."

"She will die eventually."

"Then I will love her as long as she lives, and when she dies I will watch over those she loved."

"Humans are fucking disgusting. Do you think it's fair for her to take advantage of you like that?!" Hidan glared at his brother. "They just want our power, nothing more! They're weak and greedy!"

Lee blinked at him in shock before gasping. "That's exactly what I thought after Neji-san became my master! But brother, please do not keep thinking like that; there are good humans, too!"

"They're all selfish bastards!"

"They are not! My brother, please listen to me…" Lee frowned. "Are we not selfish for wanting to keep our powers to ourselves? We were sent to earth to make people happy… That is why we were born."

"And who cares about our happiness?! No-one, that's who! Red is the only one who sticks up for us – even Orange is a fucking traitor! And you and Yellow, you're the most disgusting ones out of them all, you human-loving bastards!"

Lee looked genuinely stung at his brother's outburst. "I am happy when I know that I have helped Sakura-san. Has nobody ever done anything to make you happy?"


	5. Kiss me

Haw haw. Spring break is finally here. Two weeks without classes! Now I only have to… *counts on fingers* get my wisdom teeth pulled, revise for class, work at two different jobs, play the Easter bunny, celebrate my grandma's and grandpa's birthday, celebrate my birthday, clean my pigsty of a room… You know what, can I maybe get three weeks? D:

--

Kakuzu awoke to the sunrise on a blissfully silent October morning. His eyes were still closed, but he could feel the first few rays of light warming his skin; he enjoyed it quietly for a few moments before opening his green eyes.

He had fallen asleep facing the window (and forgotten to close the blinds), and the first view he was presented with was Hidan floating in front of the window sill, watching the sunrise. He noticed with mild interested that Hidan's skin was, in fact, not tinted orange from it. Even the light went straight through him.

As though he really didn't exist.

The brunette rubbed his eyes, sitting up. "Good morning."

Hidan just huffed quietly and, with a flash, disappeared into the pendant. Kakuzu could only roll his eyes; Hidan had been angry at him for a little over a week now – all because of that stupid bird incident. He didn't see the big deal; accidents happened, right? Either way, he needed to think of a way to make Hidan forget about it because there was no way he would apologize for something that wasn't his fault.

But what would make a genie, someone who could use magic, happy?

--

"I'm glad that you decided to take up this job, Sakura-san." Kakuzu didn't bother to smile. Too much work. "We only had one other female waitress and there should ideally always be one here."

Sakura smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I am only doing it because Lee-san asked me to." And to be closer to Sasuke-kun, she mentally added.

But Kakuzu didn't have to know that.

--

"This is so fucking boring." Hidan sighed loudly, floating just under the kitchen ceiling. He watched the chefs and their assistants bustle about with little interest for a while before making his way somewhere else.

--

"I believe we haven't been introduced yet." Sakura smiled, extending her hand towards her coworker of the day – sadly not Sasuke-kun, but a young man with big blue eyes and long blond hair that he wore in a ponytail. "My name is Sakura Haruno."

The young man blinked curiously, looking at her hand. "I'm Deidara Kawamoto. Nice to meet you, yeah."

They stood there awkwardly for a few moments before Sakura's smile turned slightly nervous. "You're supposed to shake my hand."

"Oh. _Oh_. Yeah, sorry." He quickly shook her hand, appearing embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it." She smiled and he, upon hearing a customer calling, left without another word. She stared after him blankly for a moment before looking back at where he had previously been standing. Lee was now in his place, only visible to her. "He's odd."

The green-clad genie's expression mirrored her own emotionless one. "Odd indeed."

--

"Hey, shithead." Hidan stared out of the window in boredom. "These rainbows. How do they come into existence?"

Kakuzu looked up and raised an eyebrow. "It's nice to know you're talking to me again."

The genie glared at his master who was seated at his desk, making orders on the computer. "Only because I'm fucking bored and stuck with you, asshole."

"I'm not going to bend to your every whim." Kakuzu's gaze went back to the computer. "I will not play the entertainer for you. You have magic, summon a playing partner or go talk to your brother."

"You know what? I fucking will, because talking to my wimp of a brother is better than talking to a douchebag like you!" And with that, he flew right through the wall.

--

"And I mean – who the hell does he think he is?! He was the one who bound me to him, I didn't choose to be with him! He's such a selfish – He's a greedy, ugly, old, selfish human and I hope he fucking dies, seriously!"

Lee frowned. "I'm sure he's not like that, brother…"

"But he is!" Hidan tried to punch the wall they were floating along angrily, but his hand went right through. "God damnit, I hate this world! I hate humans, I hate being stuck here, I hate not being able to touch anything, I hate not being able to punch that Kakuzu bastard – I –"

"Please calm down!" Lee immediately went after his brother who was headed towards the customer area of the restaurant. "Where are you going?!"

Hidan didn't even bother to look back at his brother; he balled his hands into fists and stormed right ahead. "I'm going to fuck that restaurant of his up so bad! Let's see how many wishes he'll need to use to get it back into shape – no matter how many, no-one will come here ever again!"

"Violet, please –"

The restaurant was crowded, as expected of the late afternoon time. There were some people in suits and ties - no doubt they just got off work -, some teenagers and even two or three families. Lee's mistress was carrying plates towards a table with four businessmen, all looking equally uptight, and Hidan already had a good idea of what to do first.

Surely, Kakuzu would fire that pink-haired chick if she spilled the food all over the guests on her first day, right? It'd get Kakuzu into a lot of trouble, too.

"Violet, don't you dare!"

Hidan's fingers were already in the right position; he just need to snap them and the girl would trip. But alas, his attention was suddenly caught by something else entirely.

A young man with a blond ponytail stood at the table Sakura was just passing by, smiling at the customers.

Lee finally caught up with his brother, stopping next to him. He followed his gaze and immediately, his expression softened. "Violet…"

Hidan didn't wait to listen to what his brother had to say; he rushed towards the blond man, his face lighting up. "Yellow! Hey, what are you doing here?! Red's been looking for you for fucking ages, seriously!

The blond man kept talking to the customers, reciting the special of the day. Hidan's fist trembled, his face fell just slightly. "Hey, I'm talking to you, shithead! Don't fucking ignore me!"

Lee bit his lip. "Violet, he can't hear you…"

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" The silver-haired genie motioned towards the blond man. "This is Yellow! Our big brother Yellow!"

"I don't know what's going on either, but these humans can see him, so he must have a solid body."

Hidan stared at his brother, trying to understand what he was saying. "I don't… but how?"

"I don't know, I just saw him today as well. But there is only one way for us to become fully human, isn't there?"

Hidan slowly looked back at the blond man, his eyes narrowing. "Becoming fully human… that's the punishment for killing a human."

--

While Kakuzu was eating dinner back at his apartment, Hidan idly watched the colourful spots on the windowsill, created by the prism Kakuzu had given him breaking the light of the dying sun.

He felt weird. He didn't know a word for it; just _weird_. He was still angry at Kakuzu because he hadn't come after him. He felt kind of disgusted by Green's devotion to his mistress. And then there was Yellow who had apparently fallen from grace.

Even though Hidan had never been close to any of his brothers, Yellow had been special. Hidan despised him for his fascination with this human invention called _art_; all he remembered Yellow ever doing was sit in front of the well and watch the human world, and whenever Hidan – a mere child in his memories – asked him to play with him, he would say something about Michelangelo, Monet, Van Gogh or whoever was currently the object of his obsession. And then one day, he decided he had found the artist he wanted to serve and descended to the human world.

More than for his obsession with humans and their art, Hidan had always hated Yellow for not acknowledging him, for ignoring him most of the time.

He rubbed his eyes, feeling kind of uncomfortable. He didn't physically hurt – he couldn't because he didn't have a body – but this feeling he had was just so… indescribable and he wanted it to go away. It made him feel vulnerable and weak.

"You're quiet. Not angry anymore?"

"Shutup", and Hidan was surprised at how quiet and soft his voice sounded compared to his usual shouting. He looked away, frowning in frustration. "I don't want to talk to you, seriously."

Kakuzu, apparently having finished eating, got up and walked over to the windowsill. Hidan briefly considered returning to the pendant, but decided against it.

The brunette studied the spots of colours on the windowsill and inside the prism itself for a few moments. "It looks almost like they're trying to break free."

Hidan snorted. "What would you know about fucking trying to break free, asshole? Nothing, that's what!"

Kakuzu glared at the genie. "What is your problem, Hidan? You've been extremely irritating lately. It almost makes me want to kill you."

"Then fucking _do_ it already! I'm fucking sick of being at your mercy!" Turning towards his master, Hidan curled his hands into fists and glared up at him, right into his eyes. "_You_ are my problem! Ever since you became my master, my whole world has been upside down! No matter what I do, you always end up being the one in control, and it doesn't even mean a thing to you! For fuck's sake, you didn't even try to find me when that bird got me! If Green and his mistress hadn't found me, I'd probably still be on that sidewalk or someone would've found me and I'd have a new master!"

The tension was so thick that it was almost palpable as angry violet eyes stared up into calm green ones. Kakuzu's face was as expressionless as always, and Hidan wanted to hurt him really bad, wanted to make that face reveal any kind of emotion at all. "Now look at you… are you even fucking human, Kakuzu? You can't feel pity nor joy; that I am here is probably just a convenience to you, isn't it? If I was gone, nothing would be different."

"Shut up."

"Oh, now he talks? Psh, here it comes, people! The human popsicle is _angry_! Beware of –"

"I said _shut up_." Kakuzu slammed his palms flat against the wall Hidan was standing in front of, right on either side of his head. His eyes were narrowed and there was a glint in them that Hidan couldn't quite place – anger? Was Kakuzu really going to wish for his death now?

The genie swallowed, his confidence faltering. For once he remained silent.

"You and I," Kakuzu started in a dangerously low voice, "aren't so different. I hide my feelings behind a calm façade – you mask yours with anger. You pretend to be angry, but you're sad because I wasn't the one who found you. You're sad, so you lash out."

"Shut up!"

"Ah, there we have it again." Kakuzu tilted his neck to be able to look Hidan, who was stubbornly looking away now, in the eyes. "You don't want to hear this, do you? You wear your heart on your sleeve; it's not that hard to look through you. What do you want me to do, Hidan? Make you unhappy because I'm a human and all humans are selfish and evil? Would that make you happy because it'd mean you're right? I already told you that I won't bend to your whims. It's not what you want to hear, but…"

Hidan gasped and turned his head to face forward; at the same time, Kakuzu lifted his hand to grasp the genie's chin. Neither of them noticed that it went right through; both were focused on their lips nearing each other.

Hidan couldn't do anything but stare when Kakuzu's face neared his own, eyes closed and lips inviting; he knew what a kiss should be like. He had seen them in the movies – breathtaking fascinations, long-awaited, passionate. His heart should beat fast and he should get butterflies in his stomach when Kakuzu's lips touch his; it should feel amazing.

But he didn't feel anything. Not Kakuzu's nose bumping awkwardly against his, not Kakuzu's fingers that were trying to grasp his chin, not Kakuzu's lips which went right through his.

Kisses were supposed to make the main couple of a story get together. They were supposed to be that one magical moment where everything that went wrong didn't matter anymore. They were the happy ending.

And he would never have them.

The spell was broken when Kakuzu's eyes opened and he remembered what exactly Hidan was, making him draw back quickly. Unable to look the genie in the eyes now, he turned his head. "Believe it or not, I wish for your happiness." And thus he fled from the living room to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Hidan was left to stare after his master in shock for a few moments before lifting his hand. He closed his eyes, a bitter smile curling up the corners of his mouth and swallowed, his voice trembling as he spoke, snapping his fingers. "As you wish."

--

Hidan stared up at the full moon dully; Kakuzu was long asleep and the genie was, as usual, on his own. Many questions filled his head, and he didn't have the answer to most of them.

Why had Kakuzu tried to kiss him? He didn't know; he didn't understand that stupid idiot.

Why had he _let_ Kakuzu try to kiss him? Again, he didn't know. Sure, he could say that it had just been because he had been surprised, but was that really the truth? …Damn, and there he went again, out of the old questions just came new ones!

Did he want to kiss Kakuzu? Yes. Yes, he did. He didn't know why, but he wanted to kiss Kakuzu.

So maybe he should just… maybe he could…

Hidan bit his lip, looking at Kakuzu's sleeping form on the bed; the brunette was lying on his back, arms stretched out almost parallel to his torso. Hidan floated towards him, and even though he didn't need to breathe, he took a deep breath before he lowered himself so there was barely any space between himself and Kakuzu.

He wanted to close his eyes, but then he wanted to aim right, so he kept his eyelids only lowered. Millimetre for millimetre, the distance between their faces shrunk, and Hidan briefly wondered if he was going at it at the right angle briefly before deciding to fuck it and just kiss that idiot.

Their lips touched.

He didn't know what was going on; one moment he was floating above Kakuzu, expecting for his lips to go through the brunette's, and the next their lips were touching and he suddenly felt heavy and his heart beat too fast for him to keep up. His face felt hot as he fell onto Kakuzu – he had really only been two or three centimetres above him, so the fall wasn't bad – but it was enough to wake Kakuzu up.

Green eyes stared up into violet ones before Kakuzu suddenly groaned. "Damn it, not again… I thought I was over the wet dreams about Hidan. What will my mind come up with this night? A French maid outfit?"

Hidan stared back blankly. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but you're not fucking sleeping."

"Pinch me."

"What the fuck? Why?"

Kakuzu sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Nevermind, this isn't what you'd do in my dreams." He paused. "Forget what I said." Clearing his throat, he brushed some hair from his face. "Now will you get off me? You're heavy."

"How can you be so fucking calm?! We were _touching_! My body is fucking _touchable_!"

"Well," Kakuzu sat up, pushing the genie off of him, "looks like we have a problem."

--

Finally the revelation that Deidara is Yellow. Happy now? I'm not. I thought it was really exciting to see what your guesses were. ;__;

Lemme know what you think.


	6. Dontcha

**Please check out my contest! Go to my dA for more information ****:)**

FYI, the full chapter title is "Dontcha wish your boyfriend was hot like Hi", but that didn't fit. :(

--

It was well past midnight when Kakuzu, tired and irritated, sat opposite of the man that had been a mere ghost only minutes before, he was sure. "Alright, let's try this again: you flew to the bed, and suddenly your body became solid?"

Hidan nodded and clicked his tongue in annoyance when a strand of hair loosened yet again and he needed to brush it back for the millionth time. "God fucking damnit, why won't it stay the way it always did?!"

"You probably need hairgel. Human hair does not – nevermind." Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to call Itachi first thing in the morning and ask him to take over the restaurant tomorrow. We need you to –"

A loud rumbling noise interrupted Kakuzu and Hidan looked around, startled, before suddenly clutching at his stomach. "Shit, Kakuzu, this is – this does not feel good. It's like… uncomfortable. To the point where I want it to go away. Kinda like someone's twisting my insides around."

Kakuzu sighed. "It's pain, Hidan. You'll feel plenty of it now that you're human. This particular feeling is hunger."

Hidan frowned. "Being human sucks."

"Come on." Kakuzu climbed out of the bed. "We'll get you something to eat."

Hidan supported himself up on his hands, pushed himself up and swung his legs off the bed. Alright, that worked. Now he just needed to stand up… walking couldn't be that hard, right? After all, humans walked pretty early in their life. He narrowed his eyes, trying to remember how Kakuzu had gotten up. Pull himself up, straighten his knees and – "Whoah!"

Kakuzu barely managed to catch Hidan before the former genie fell face-forward by grabbing his wrist and pulling him up against himself. Hidan could only blink in shock, feeling the pressure of Kakuzu's hand tight around his wrist, and Kakuzu's arm warm and firm around his middle, supporting him. His heart beat rapidly in his chest and his face suddenly felt incredibly hot.

Hidan was so overwhelmed by all these sensations that he completely forgot to move. Kakuzu could only sigh. "You just had too much swing. Try again."

The silver-haired man snorted and yanked his arm free. "Don't touch me." He managed somehow; he swayed a little too much when he walked, trying to get the right balance, walking speed and distance between his feet, but he managed to get to the bedroom door and –bam – smacked straight into it.

Kakuzu blinked before slapping his hand over his face, sighing. "Humans have to open doors, Hidan."

"Shut up," the silver-haired man grumbled, though it sounded kind of nasal now. "I knew that."

"Right."

"This fucking hurts."

"Yet sadly, it was not hard enough to break your nose. Now hurry up, I don't want to stay in here forever." Kakuzu grabbed Hidan by the shoulder, pulled him back and opened the door before walking though it past the still grumbling ex-genie. "Since you've never eaten before, you don't have a preference in food, do you?"

--

The first thing Hidan ever ate was leftover spare ribs. It quickly became apparent to him that yes, he would definitely like eating. He liked the way things could taste so differently, and yet they all tasted _good_. They even felt differently when he chewed – they were hard, crunchy, soft, and chewy and the list went on.

Maybe being human wouldn't be so bad after all.

--

After eating and practicing walking, the sun was starting to rise and Hidan was exhausted. Kakuzu decided to be nice for once and let him sleep in his bed while he took care of other things.

The first thing he did was to go to the restaurant, where he had a long talk with Kisame and Itachi about how an important and difficult situation came up, and the two agreed to help him with managing the restaurant until he had run interviews to employ an assistant for himself.

For the first time in a long time, he also checked on his shares. Hidan's appearance had really turned his life upside down, he noted with a sigh. But the shares rose just in time for him to sell some and buy some others and he found a good deal, earning him some money.

--

"_Violet…" _

_He opened his eyes and blinked lazily; why was his sight so fuzzy? He couldn't see or here well, but what he heard was Yellow's voice, and what he saw was a young face framed by long blond here and a wide, wide grin. _

"_Do you want to see my art, Violet?"_

_He tried to say something along the lines of "Fuck no", but all that came out was a weird gurgling noise, and without his consent, his hands reached out – but the hands that should be his were tiny and chubby. _

_What the hell was going on?! _

_Yellow grinned down at him and opened his palms, from which two white birds (not real ones, he quickly noticed. He still had a grudge against birds.) arose, flying into the air and exploding in a burst of colours. _

_A baby laughed and he wondered where it came from, but when he saw "his" tiny chubby hands move, he quickly realized that it must have been his own. Yellow's grinning face came back into view. "Did you like it, yeah? Art is a blast!" _

"_Yellow," he could hear his sister's voice chide, "Violet's a baby, don't scare him with your fireworks!" _

"_But he likes them, yeah! He laughed!" _

_She sighed, and finally her face came into view. She looked younger and – whoah, did she smile? He was pretty sure he had never seen her smile before. "I came to say bye. Orange and I will be sent to earth soon to serve the humans for a while. Try not to miss me too much, okay?" _

_Yellow rolled his eyes. "He's a baby, Blue, he's not going to miss you." _

_Blue turned to him, glaring. "You better run now…" _

_--_

When Kakuzu arrived back home, Hidan was sitting on the windowsill again, watching the prism. The sunlight touched his pale skin in the most angelic way Kakuzu could imagine, making it look as if he glowed.

Almost out of instinct, he reached out to touch the ex-genie's arm, wanting assurance that he really was still here and not transparent again.

Hidan glanced down at Kakuzu's hand on his arm for a moment before looking at the prism again. "I think I timetraveled while I slept, seriously."

Kakuzu couldn't help but smile. "It's called a dream. While you sleep, your subconscious tries to digest what was on your mind. What did you dream?"

Hidan shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. "Nonesense about my siblings."

"A memory?"

"I don't remember my childhood. Too long ago."

"I see." Kakuzu studied Hidan; his face was pale, but that was nothing new. His eyes seemed more vibrant than ever, shining purple, and even his hair, which Kakuzu had always thought of as silver, had a pale violet tint when the sun shone on it. His gaze wandered further down, over his chest and arms. "You're cold."

Hidan frowned. "I'm what?"

"You don't feel comfortable, right? It's not like pain, but uncomfortable." Damn, how did you explain how being cold felt to someone? "You've crossed your arms over your chest for warmth and there are goose bumps on your skin."

Damn, did he feel stupid. It wasn't summer; of course Hidan would be cold shirtless.

"So what do I do to make it go away?"

Kakuzu thought for a moment. "First, we'll get you into the shower. Then I'll lend you some of my clothes so we can go get clothes for you." Maybe they should ask Sakura for help – then again, she didn't seem like the fashion doll type.

--

Okay, so helping Hidan shower was weird. Kakuzu ended up in his boxers himself because he didn't want to get his clothes wet and that stupid idiot kept complaining. First the water was too hot, then it was too cold, and he didn't know what to do with the shampoo, then he got it in his eye, he didn't like the way the shower gel smelled and _then_ he slipped and bruised his poor behind.

Kakuzu decided that the next time he moved to a different apartment, he would need a bathtub and, if Hidan remained with a physical body, an extra room.

--

Hidan wasn't that much shorter than Kakuzu – 8cm, and yes, they had measured it – and his stature was also buff, but Kakuzu still had a hard time picking clothes of his own that would fit the ex-genie.

Of course, a big source of distraction was Hidan standing beside him. Naked.

"Alright," he finally mumbled. "These are boxers. They're underwear. Put them on."

And finally, Hidan wasn't as naked anymore. Hidan being Hidan though – he complained. "I don't like this, seriously. Do I have to wear them?"

"Yes." He sighed, holding out a very old pair of jeans. "Now these. They're jeans."

Hidan had a little more problems putting them on; they were a little tight even on him, and Kakuzu remembered that the reason he didn't wear them anymore was that he had accidentally washed them too hot and thus they had shrunk. In the end they fit him though – and actually, his butt looked rather nice in them, too.

"Alright. I'm not giving you one of my expensive shirts, so here, this is a sweater." An argyle sweater at that; completely nerdy, and of course Hidan pulled a face.

"It's fucking ugly, seriously. I'm not wearing it."

"I wish for you too wear this sweater."

"Damn you! Kakuzu, you dick!"

And ah, he was relieved to see that Hidan could still use his magic. He smirked at the ex-genie, studying his now slightly messed up hair, red cheeks, sulky frown and argyle sweater. "While we're at it, we're going to need money to buy things for you and I'm not spending my hard-earned money on you. I wish for 1000 bucks in cash."

Hidan smiled sweetly, snapping his fingers. "Granted."

At first there was nothing and Kakuzu started to feel suspicious, but then there were strange noises – like scratching or buzzing.

Kakuzu slowly, very slowly looked down at the floor.

Scratching and buzzing… like bugs. Like 1000 bugs.

His fists were shaking with anger and he promptly slammed down his foot, crushing a few of the poor animals. "Hidan…"

The genie's sweet smile turned into a smirk. "You said 1000 bugs. I only granted your wish."

"Bucks! Money! Get back here you little –"

--

Kakuzu hated shopping for three reasons. The first was that he had to spend money, the second was that there were people all around him and the third was that whenever he went to the city with someone, he lost them.

And so, after he paid for a large bag with clothes for Hidan, he turned around and was met with nothing.

--

Hidan sighed loudly, practically throwing himself onto a bench by a small fountain. Sadly, the water was turned off – Hidan thought that it might have been cool to play with the water for a bit. He liked water.

Damn it, his feet ached, he was irritated from his sense of balance still being slightly whack and he had lost Kakuzu. What was he going to do now? He didn't know the way back to Kakuzu's apartment and if he was far too tired to go search for him. Maybe if he was lucky enough, Kakuzu might find him…

Either way, he needed a break, so he stayed firmly on his ass. Until he heard giggling. He quickly looked around scowling. Was someone mocking him?!

Sure enough, there was a group of girls in their late teens standing not too far from him; they kept looking at him, whispering and giggling. He made sure to put on his best glare.

After about a minute, one of the girls finally approached him; when he saw her weird orange tan and painted face he immediately disliked her. "Can I sit next to you?"

"No."

"Wow. Uh, direct." She forced a grin. "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Yes."

"Your girlfriend?"

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Fuck no. I'm waiting for my master."

She appeared confused for a moment before her jaw dropped open. "Your – whoah. Whoah, okay. Sorry, I didn't –"

"Hidan," a low voice growled darkly, and sure enough, Hidan spotted Kakuzu and boy, did he look pissed. "You better get your scrawny ass over right now before I kill you."

Now, Hidan was not dumb. He was rebellious and spiteful and liked to pick fights, but he knew when it was better to just do what Kakuzu said – and this was exactly one of those moments, and so he grudgingly got up. "Don't be so pissed!_ I_ was the one who lost _you_; it was way more dangerous for me, seriously!"

"Why else do you think I was –" Kakuzu stopped talking and narrowed his eyes even more. "Let's just go now. We have some essentials and clothes; we can get the rest another time." Without waiting for a reply, he turned around and walked off.

Hidan quickly caught up. "Hey, hey, hey! You fucking – I don't want to walk, my feet seriously hurt and I'm tired and hungry and thirsty! Kakuzu! Kakuzu, wait!"

--

"I'm home!"

Tobi hummed under his breath and bumped the door closed with his bum since his hands were occupied with bags and keys before he toed off his shoes and then proceeded to the living room of his small apartment. "I brought dinner! Hey, Deidara, are you there?"

When he got no reply, he left the bag with food in the kitchen, put his keys on the counter and shrugged off his jacket. "Deidara?"

He found the blond in the living room, wearing one of his old shirts backwards, bangs for once not in his face, forming a lump of clay.

Tobi grinned, approaching his roommate. "Whatcha doing, Deidara? Aren't you hungry?"

The blond sent him a dirty look. "Don't annoy me, I'm making art."

"Art?" The Uchiha raised an eyebrow, looking down at the rather formless clay. "It must be modern art then…" He slapped Deidara's back in a friendly way. "Isn't that right?!"

If looks could kill, Tobi would have been as dead as someone who got crushed by a rock. "Shut your mouth, yeah."

But of course, Tobi completely ignored it. "So what is it supposed to be?" His face scrunched up quizzically. "Oh, I know! It's… a lump of clay in the shape of a lump of clay!"

Deidara's hand twitched. "One more word and you will regret it, Tobi."

"Don't worry." He grinned at his roommate. "Tobi understands your tortured heart! Even if others don't call it art, Tobi considers it as a masterpiece!"

Getting the clay removed from his nose, ears, teeth and hair was more of a bitch than Tobi could have imagined.


	7. Speechless

There are two more weeks left to submit something to my contest! Go to my dA for more information. If you don't have a dA account, you can also pm me about it here.

This chapter was finally a bit more easy to write; I actually wrote it in only two sessions!

--

When Kakuzu left the bathroom after a quick shower to freshen up, Hidan was already wearing some of his new clothes – or, well, really just a pair of pyjama pants and probably boxers underneath. While Kakuzu dried his hair with a towel, Hidan got comfortable on the couch, where he was supposed to sleep from that night on.

Kakuzu had given Hidan some space after their shopping trip, going to the restaurant to see how everything was going and bringing back some dinner. Hidan hadn't been very fond of the vegetables, but he had liked the cake they had for dessert.

The brunette carelessly tossed the towel he had used to dry his hair over a chair and when Hidan saw, he immediately snapped his fingers, making the towel disappear (and reappear in the laundry basket, but only Hidan knew that). Kakuzu grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen and then moved to sit on the couch with Hidan.

The TV was on and Kakuzu immediately recognized that it was a rerun of some criminal movie, but he didn't mind; he usually liked the plots, and Hidan, as it turned out, liked the gory scenes.

He had often watched TV with Hidan, but for some reason he felt that the ex-genie's presence that night was a lot stronger, so to speak. Physical body and all.

"Hey," Hidan spoke up during the ad break and turned, making their knees brush, "why can't I sleep in the fucking bed?"

Kakuzu stared at him for a moment, trying to make out if Hidan was actually serious. "What a dumb question. I'll be sleeping in there, idiot."

"So? Why don't _you_ sleep on the couch?"

"Because it's _my_ apartment." Kakuzu glared at him. "If you keep complaining, you're sleeping on the floor."

"Then why can't we both in your bed?!"

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Why did he get the annoying genie? Why not one like Lee – Lee seemed devoted to Sakura. That was fine, that was good. "Because my bed isn't big enough for two grown men. Besides, it would be weird for us to share a bed."

"What the fuck? How can that be weird when you've tried to kiss me before?"

Kakuzu whipped around, wide eyes staring at Hidan. Why was the ex-genie suddenly so close that he was practically in Kakuzu's lap? "That was…"

Hidan's purple eyes narrowed and he crawled closer to Kakuzu like a cat to its prey. "That was…?"

"…Different. It was a completely different situation. Why are you even bringing this up now? Look, the ad break is over and I –"

Hidan pounced.

--

They landed on the floor with a loud thud after a short brawl, but Hidan didn't care. He found himself underneath Kakuzu, staring up into his master's wide green eyes.

He could feel him.

He could feel Kakuzu's warmth, could feel the weight of his body on his own, and could feel Kakuzu's breath on his cheek. Everywhere around him – Kakuzu was everywhere. He could hear him (hear him breathing), see him (see his bright green eyes), feel him (Oh God, he could _feel_ him).

His heart was beating rapidly in his chest and his breath felt like it wasn't enough.

Hidan swallowed and closed his eyes; he needed more of this sensation. He needed to experience feeling more – God knew how long he would still have a body, maybe he would be a mere spirit again come morning – and he so desperately wanted to have more of it. He let his hands wander over Kakuzu's arms very, very slowly, trying to burn the feeling of it into his memory. Kind of soft, but with a slightly rough touch to it and that – that was a bump in the skin, maybe a vein or a scar?

His face felt hot and he could feel the pounding of his heart even in his cheeks.

Hidan's hands continued further up and – why was Kakuzu even letting him do this without any reaction at all? – Kakuzu's t-shirt felt nice and soft and he didn't even remember the color of it, but it didn't matter, this was from now on his favorite shirt.

His eyes flew open in shock when Kakuzu suddenly moved and for a moment, he was afraid that Kakuzu would leave him there, but all he did was move his arm. Hidan shivered when Kakuzu slowly ran his fingers over the ex-genie's bare chest, his eyes closing again.

So was this the opposite of pain? Kakuzu had said that pain was the unpleasant feeling that warned you that something was wrong. What did you call this good feeling? If pain was a warning, then what was this?

Hidan buried his hands in Kakuzu's hair, moving them for a moment to feel the texture (it wasn't as soft as he thought, but it might have been because it was still damp) and then opened his eyes again.

Kakuzu's left hand was hot on his side now, lazily caressing the skin with strong fingers and Kakuzu's eyes were focused on Hidan's face – almost as if he was waiting for something and when Hidan realized which part of his face they were looking at, he immediately understood.

He would never have admitted it out loud, but he was nervous and scared. At the same time, though, he wanted it. He couldn't explain why, but he wanted to kiss Kakuzu, even though Kakuzu was a shitty human and even though he was only a spirit and –

God, he'd never been someone who thought a lot, why now? Screw thinking!

And apparently, that was what Kakuzu had been waiting for, because the next thing Hidan knew, there was something warm and soft on his mouth and no, he didn't dislike it, and hey – after five seconds of just pressing their lips together, his body was still solid.

His stomach felt weird – kind of hot but also cold and like something was twisting in it – when Kakuzu's lips began move against his own, very slowly at first, and it felt good, Hidan liked it. It was a pleasant touch of lips to lips and after a few seconds, he was confident that he could do it, so he started responding.

That was, until –

"What the fuck was –"

"Shut up."

"Dude, Kakuzu –"

"That was my tongue, you moron. That's what you do when you kiss."

"Your – your _tongue_? Seriously?!"

"Shut up," the brunette muttered and grabbed Hidan's wrists, pinning them down onto the floor. "It's weird at first, but you'll like it."

"Wait, _wait_!" Hidan clicked his tongue in annoyance and tried to kick the man on top of him. "Dude, when they kiss in movies, the next thing that happens is that one of 'em gets fat or they get a baby! I don't wanna get fat or get a baby!"

Kakuzu was effectively turned off by the idea of giving Hidan sex ed.

--

The next morning, things already worked a little better. Hidan took a shower by himself, ate the breakfast Kakuzu had made for them, tried coffee (and didn't like it) and then went to get dressed.

Kakuzu was a little amazed with how fast Hidan seemed to learn, but it had the advantage that he didn't need to help him more – though he certainly wouldn't have minded helping him get dressed. Nothing more had happened the previous night; he had explained sex and reproduction to Hidan and after that, he had gone to bed. Hidan hadn't complained about sleeping on the couch again.

He heard the bedroom door click open and looked up, his eyebrows immediately rising. Hidan was wearing some of the clothes they had bought the previous day – a white t-shirt with black sleeves and a pair of light blue jeans that were loose on his legs but tight on his ass. His nice ass. "You're finished?"

"Yeah." Hidan turned towards Kakuzu after closing the door, raising an eyebrow. "Does Pinky work today?"

"Yes, but much later. For the lunch time, it will be Sasuke and Deidara."

"Fuck that." Hidan leaned over Kakuzu to snag a piece of food from the brunette's plate, popping it into mouth. "What's this? Yargh, it tastes like shit!"

Kakuzu was too distracted to answer. The shirt was a little short on Hidan, and when he stretched like that, he could see the skin of his side.

"When are we leaving for the restaurant?"

"…We?" Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "I can't take you to the restaurant; you're no longer invisible."

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Then I'll just stay in your fucking office! I need to talk to Green and Yellow!"

"Yellow?" Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "Who's Yellow?"

"Oh, that's right, I was pissed at you when I found out and then forgot to tell you…" Hidan sat down on the chair opposite of Kakuzu's, running a hand through his hair. "There's a blond guy working at your restaurant, right? He's my brother Yellow, but he has turned into a human. I don't fucking know why or how, but I'm going to beat it out of him now that he can see me, seriously!"

Kakuzu sighed quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fine, but you will stay strictly in my office. I'll call Deidara in. If you pull any stunt, I'll wish for you to be forever trapped in your pendant, get it?"

--

"I'm so bored, seriously." Hidan sighed, stretching. "Kakuzu, let's do something until Yellow has a break."

Kakuzu glared down at the genie who was sitting on the floor beneath the window. "I told you that I have to work, so shut up."

"Ugh, fucking asshole." The ex-genie rolled his eyes and got up, opening the window and leaning over the windowsill. "How long till the break?"

Kakuzu made the mistake of looking up and was met with a pretty nice view of Hidan's lovely behind. His eyes narrowed and he turned his head, pointedly looking away. "Shut the window, it's getting cold."

"Hey, how fucking long?"

"I said _shut the window_."

"And _I _said how fucking long until Yellow has his break?"

Okay, that was it, that was _so_ it. Kakuzu got up, walked around his desk, pushed Hidan aside and slammed the window closed. But of course, Hidan wasn't going to take that lying down – he tried to shove Kakuzu away from the window, but the brunette grabbed the ex-genie's wrists and pinned him against the wall.

"This is my last warning, Hidan."

"Fuck you!" Hidan glared at his master, but didn't fight back. "You should have just told me how much time is left until Yellow's break!"

Kakuzu watched the silver-haired man's face calmly before smirking. "So even people like you get nervous… How endearing."

Their lips almost met when the door swung open, revealing a young man with long blond hair and bright blue eyes. "Tobi said you wanted to see me, yeah? …Whoah, sorry, I'll just…"

Hidan immediately pushed his master away, eyes widening. "Yellow!"

The blond's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Violet? What are you… why are you –"

"I should be asking you that, bastard!" The ex-genie glared at his brother. "One day you just randomly decide to go down to the fucking human world and the next time I see you, you're human!"

Hurt flashed through Deidara's eyes for a moment, but he quickly regained his composure. "I could be asking you the same, yeah. I thought you hated humans."

"Of course I hate them," Hidan sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. "They're shitty –" _and warm_ "- and selfish" – _and possessed kindness hidden underneath layers of bitterness –_ "and suck" _and kiss really well_ " – and I hate them!"

"And now you're one of them."

"I'm not like you, seriously." Hidan's glare darkened even more. "I don't know why you turned into human, but I didn't break any fucking rules. I just turned into one out of the blue, so I'm not like you!"

Kakuzu sighed. "I'm going to leave you two to talk on your own. Deidara, make sure you're finished in half an hour." And so, he left the office and closed the door.

The blond sighed and sat down on Kakuzu's swivel chair. "Look, Violet, I know you don't like me, but we should talk calmly, yeah."

"Fine." Hidan sat back down on the ground again, crossing his arms over his chest. "So, you killed someone? What did you do – blow them into bits and pieces?"

"How blunt, yeah." Deidara looked away, eyes saddening. "It was an accident. My master was in danger and I didn't know what to do… I just wanted to protect Sasori no danna."

Hidan snorted. "You kill for him and he ditches you? Kakuzu said you live with that cook, Tobi…"

Deidara glared at his younger brother. "Sasori no danna did not ditch me. He got blamed for my crime, yeah. I'm sure if he wasn't in jail, he would take care of me!"

Hidan snorted. "Get real, you blue-eyed idiot! He'd say it was you so you would go to jail in his place, that's just what humans are like, seriously!"

"Sasori no danna isn't like that." And boy, Hidan hadn't known his brother could glare like that. "Sasori no danna is a true artist. That is why I made him my master, yeah."

"And now fucking look at you – all alone."

Deidara closed his eyes, trying to remain calm. "Is mocking me the only reason you sought me out?"

"I wish it was, seriously." Hidan rolled his eyes. "Look, obviously I'm human now, and I want to fucking know why. I didn't break any rules, so what else can make us turn into a human?"

"Are you fully human or…?"

"I can still do magic."

"Then I don't know." Deidara looked at the tabletop, playing absentmindedly with a piece of paper. "Orange once told me that we lose our magic when we are unable to make humans happy, yeah. But since you can still do magic, that can't be it."

"Are you even good for anything?!" Hidan scowled at his brother. "You're so fucking pathetic."

Deidara stood up abruptly, his fists clenched in anger. "Be glad I don't have magic, otherwise I'd blow your ass up, yeah. I'm going back to work."

--

"I see." Kakuzu turned off the stove before straining the spaghetti he had made. "You are going to have to get along with him though if you want to go to the restaurant with me."

Hidan rolled his eyes, sitting at the table with his chin propped up on his hand. "I'll be good, seriously."

"Why don't you get along anyway?"

Hidan snorted. "I don't get along with any of my siblings. They hate me and I hate them. Orange thinks he's fucking God, Blue is practically his lapdog, Yellow obsessed over humans and art and Green is way too fucking stupid. The only sane ones are Red and I."

"I doubt that you're sane." Kakuzu set a plate of Spaghetti Bolognese in front of Hidan. "Eat."

They ate in relative silence, though Hidan had some troubles figuring out how to eat the Spaghetti – in the end, Kakuzu cut them for him so the ex-genie could just eat them with a fork.

After they had gotten cleaned up and done the dishes, they sat on the couch again to watch TV. This time, an overly dramatic romance movie was on and they were both quickly bored with it. "I'm going to the restaurant a little later tomorrow. If you want to come with me, you're going to have to wear something a little fancier than today. Maybe one of my shirts and dress pants… a vest, too."

"Yeah, whatever." Hidan yawned. "I'm so fucking tired… get the fuck of the couch, I wanna sleep."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "If you want to sleep so badly, sleep on the floor."

"I'm not a fucking dog!" The ex-genie glared at his master. "Just get the fuck off, you don't really want to watch this stupid movie anyway! Go or I'll sleep in your bed, seriously!"

The brunette snorted. "You can only dream of sleeping in my bed."

They bickered for a while longer before Kakuzu managed to shut Hidan up, and then the ex-genie fell asleep pretty quickly. Kakuzu couldn't help softening a little when the silver-haired man's head rested against his shoulder, eyes closed and face for once not in a frown. It was nice to see him so relaxed in comparison to the usual angry expressions.

And so, he decided that just this once, he would be nice and carried Hidan to his bedroom.

--

Concrit on the kissing scene appreciated. ._.  
And now I shall go to bed because I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow ;__;


	8. Wishing to be the friction in your jeans

Sorry for the long wait! I should have the next chapter of GYH up soon as well, it's already 3/4 finished!

--

"_Master Kakuzu…"_

_Kakuzu knew he was dreaming the moment he saw Hidan – his bedroom eyes, his smirk as he looked at Kakuzu over his shoulder. And of course, his attire – golden jewellery slung around his neck, looking so heavy, designs painted on the bare skin of his back and arms, wide purple pants and strips of cloth with tiny golden coins, barefoot… _

_The coins jingled when Hidan shifted his weight from one leg to another. "Want me to dance, Master Kakuzu? You just need to wish for it…" _

Kakuzu had known he shouldn't have slept in the same bed as Hidan. He should have just slept on the couch after letting Hidan have the bed, but no, his back _had_ to hurt on the couch and he _had_ to get into the bed and have one of those dreams.

And worst of all, Hidan was awake. And staring at Kakuzu.

"Damn it," Kakuzu mumbled. He was pretty sure that his face was flushed, and what the fuck? He was a grown man. Why did he have those dreams in the first place? Was he really so desperate? Then again, the dreams had only started after he met Hidan…

He tried to turn away from Hidan, but as soon as he did, Hidan's hands laid themselves on his back. "Kakuzu… hey, Kakuzu."

"What do you want? I need a shower."

"You were moaning my name in your sleep."

Damn it, damn it, damn it. "I had a nightmare."

"I'm not fucking stupid, you jackass!" Hidan glared at his master. "Seriously, I know what's going on. You explained these things to me."

"Then let me go so I can take care of this."

Hidan clicked his tongue in annoyance and rougly pulled Kakuzu back, holding him down and straddling him. "You must be really fucking stupid. Do I have to spell it out for you?!"

The blush was no longer present on Kakuzu's face; he narrowed his eyes, looking up at Hidan. Who was sitting on his thighs, too dangerously close to… "Are you sure? Because once we've started, there's no turning back."

Hidan nodded slightly before leaning down to kiss Kakuzu.

--

It had been over too soon, but that was to be expected; Hidan was, after all, completely inexperienced. Kakuzu wasn't about to complain though; he had gotten a pretty amazing show as he stroked Hidan through his very first orgasm. They hadn't had sex, but Kakuzu had also foreseen that. He had gotten off and that was enough for him for now; Hidan had to get used to things first anyway.

"Kakuzu."

He opened an eye lazily, watching Hidan with it. The silver-haired man was lying on his stomach, hands folded in front of him and head resting on it sideways so he could watch Kakuzu.

"What do you call it?"

"Call what?"

"The opposite of pain. Feeling good."

"Ah." Kakuzu closed his eyes again. "It's called pleasure."

--

There wasn't much going on at the restaurant so early in the morning, but that's why Sakura liked the early shift and took it whenever she had no school. Screw tips; she wasn't dependent on this job, she only had it so Lee could be closer to his brothers.

And. Well. Sasuke worked there. As did his brother.

Currently though, she was chatting with Deidara – or Yellow, as she'd learnt from Lee. "So what was it like where you come from? Is it anything like here? Lee never talks about home…"

"It's nothing like here, hm." Deidara smiled at Sakura, pleased that someone was taking an interest in him. "It's a completely different dimension, you see? Like a castle in a globe in the middle of the universe, yeah. We had a castle, and the weather was always nice… and we could watch the earth and the sky."

"But what did you do there all the time? I mean, didn't you ever get bored?"

The blond grinned. "Time passes faster for us than for you. But we also each had our own hobbies, yeah… like me, I watched the earth. I love the art on earth. And I always watched when stars exploded. Art is a blast, yeah! Hm?" He looked over his shoulder after feeling someone tap it. "Itachi?"

Itachi's face was impassive, but for some reason, Sakura got a rather intimidating feeling from it. "Stop flirting with Sakura-san and get back to work."

Sakura blushed. "We weren't… you misunderstood, Itachi-san – Deidara is the brother of a close friend…"

Itachi's eyes narrowed. "I thought your close friends were my brother and Naruto, who is an only child."

"Oh, it's someone you don't know." She smiled nervously. "He doesn't go to our school and Sasuke-kun doesn't know him either."

"Stop chatting and get working." All three of them looked up as Kakuzu made his entrance, and Sakura and Deidara were about to go back to work when Kakuzu spoke up again. "Deidara, Sakura, come to my office. I need to talk to you."

Itachi watched them follow his boss. He couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something they weren't telling him and that he was the only one left out…

--

"Random magic?"

Kakuzu nodded, sitting at his desk and looking down at its surface. "I don't think he noticed though. What could it be?"

Deidara crossed his arms over his chest. "You'll have to be more specific. Just telling us that random magical things happen around Violet won't help. What was the situation? How was he feeling? What type of magic?"

"I assume he was happy."

The blond rolled his eyes. "More detail, yeah."

Kakuzu blushed, staring at the surface of the desk pointedly.

"…Why do I get the feeling I don't want to hear more?" Sakura wondered out loud, sighing.

Kakuzu cleared his throat. "Anyway, it was small things. I noticed random rainbows in the room, a pillow floating, things like that. And he was more tired than he should have been, even for his standards."

"Sounds like his control over magic is getting loose, yeah." Deidara grasped his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe he's still adjusting to having a physical body."

"Did the same happen to you?" Kakuzu looked up, his blush now under control. "When you got a physical body."

"No. My magic was gone immediately. If you ask me, occasionally make wishes to see how well his magic reacts, yeah."

--

"God, I'm so fucking bored."

Hidan sighed dramatically, lying spread out on Kakuzu's bed. He had remembered to sleep, eat, wash, get dressed – and when he'd finished, that bastard Kakuzu had already left without him.

And now he was bored.

He sighed again jumping off the bed in what he thought would be a cool move, but ending up landing flat on his face on the ground. Rubbing his nose, he made his way to the living room.

His eyes fell on Kakuzu's small living room carpet – a really ugly, small thing. Probably cheap, knowing Kakuzu. A smirk slowly spread out on his face and he snapped his fingers.

--

Red eyes scanned the ground hundreds of meters beneath him, his face void of any emotion. He'd been searching for a while now; standing on his fan like he had seen one of those earth kids standing on what it had called "skateboard", he rushed through the sky, invisible to humans.

"Fuck yeah, this is awesome!"

He narrowed his eyes, whirling around, and nearly got run over by a blurr rushing past him.

He blinked, staring after it. "Was that… Violet on a flying carpet?"

--

Orange smirked, huffing quietly to hide his laughter. "What a reckless child."

Blue sighed. "And you honestly consider him someone who could stand in your way, Pain? Instead of getting rid of Violet, you should beware of Red."

His smile had nothing friendly to it; it was arrogant, taunting. "It is Violet's recklessness that makes him more dangerous than our cunning older brother, Konan."

"You should not underestimate Red."

"I am not." Looking back down at the well through which they had been watching the earth, he smirked. "In fact, I already have a plan."

--

"You must be seven kinds of stupid! What if someone had seen you – or even worse, _caught_ you?! You have no human identity! What would you have told the police – _Hello, my name is Hidan and I'm a color of the rainbow_?!"

Hidan smirked, not at all listening to Deidara. "Hey, Kakuzu, wasn't that just fucking cool? Tell me I'm awesome!"

Kakuzu stayed quiet for a while, glaring at Hidan before hitting him over the head. "Are you suicidal? Your body is mortal, Hidan."

Hidan was laughing, but Kakuzu noticed how his chest heaved more than it should, and that his face was too pale. "Relax, Kakuzu…"

"Are you alright?"

He managed to catch Hidan before he fainted.

--

There was a couch in the break room which was where they put Hidan. An hour later, Sakura finally managed to convince her doctor and friend of the Haruno family, Tsunade, to come by and check Hidan out in exchange for a bottle of sake and a free meal.

Kakuzu felt sort of bothered when she unbuttoned Hidan's shirt to check on his heart and lungs. He also felt bothered by Sakura, Deidara and Lee still being in the room.

"It's just exhaustion," she finally concluded. "Tell him to take it slow, rest… and healthier nutrition."

Kakuzu couldn't shake off the feeling that it didn't have to do with not enough sleep or food.

--

"Kakuzu," Hidan drawled, dragging out the "u", "I'm so fucking bored."

"So watch TV."

"I've watched TV all fucking day! I wanna do something already!"

Kakuzu sighed, closing his book. "You need rest, Hidan. You fainted yesterday, and that's not something to take lightly."

"Hey." Hidan moved to sit on Kakuzu's lap, making the other man roll his eyes. "Let's give each other pleasure. Just like yesterday."

"Are you stupid?"

"Oh come on!" Hidan huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't want to look at these stupid walls anymore!"

"Fine!" Kakuzu glared at the ex genie, annoyed beyond belief. "Go get dressed. We're going to the restaurant so you can annoy Lee."

--

It was already closing time when they reached the restaurant; Sakura and Deidara were sweeping the floor, joking around and laughing while Itachi wiped the counter. Lee was cheering Sakura on – not that Deidara or Itachi could hear.

"Fuck," Hidan announced, "we missed all the fun?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Charming as ever, Hidan. Charming."

Hidan smirked back at her, taking a seat on one of the bar stools. "What can I say, that's just the way I am."

"Stop flirting with underage girls, moron." Kakuzu hit him over the head, glaring.

Sakura rolled her eyes, moving towards the window to let in some fresh air. She was just about to turn back around when she felt someone next to her.

Deidara smiled, his long hair falling over Sakura's shoulder as they were standing rather close. "The stars are pretty tonight." His smile fell slightly. "It has been a long time since I watched them, yeah. They're at their most beautiful when they explode."

"I think they're beautiful either way." Sakura looked up, trying to make out a conestalltion. It was then that she spotted something unusual among the stars – a red, glowing spot that was rapidly approaching and getting bigger.

She furrowed her eyesbrows, trying to come up with what it could be, but then Deidara suddenly pushed her down. "Duck!"

The room lit up red and Sakura had to close her eyes to stop them from being blinded, and when she finally dared to open them, a young man with long, unruly black hair and crimson eyes was staring at her, wearing the same outfit she knew from Lee and Hidan, only in red, and a large fan strapped to his back.

His face showed utter disgust when he saw her and Deidara, and she felt unusually tense under his gaze – as if those crimson eyes could kill her, snap her like a twig. She felt immense relief when he turned around.

"Violet." He smirked upon spotting Hidan. "I have finally found you."

Hidan didn't know whether to be ecstatic or frightened. He simply stared at his older brother, purple eyes wide. "Red…"

"This place disgusts me. It must have been terrible for you only with those humans and that human-loving brother of yours." He sent Lee, who was rushing to Sakura's side, a repulsed look. "But don't worry. I'm here to take you back."


End file.
